Thursday, 10 March 2011

Money trees, nice idea.

Life would be easy if money grew on trees, but life would be boring without the competition and determination to earn money and succeed.
I'm the type of person that uses the 11.11, rainbows and shooting star wishes, if I'm not lucky enough to use one of those I turn to Cosmic Ordering Service in hope that maybe some money will fall into my purse, but generally when I ask COS payday happens - unfortunately COS isn't so giving when it comes to money as its generally everyones wish... Sigh!
But when I really think about winning the lottery, as exciting and life changing as it sounds, I can't help but think that christmas and birthdays would be come boring, I know they aren't about what gifts you get and what you want, but the excitement tends to disappear when you can afford just about anything!
Then I start to think about all the training and hard work you have to do to get into that dream job, and my eyes start to haze over along with my brain. Why is everything such an effort now a days? As much as I'd adore to be a tv presenter, I can't help but feel a little inadequate when it comes to all the educating! I just want to get myself out into the dog eat dog world and be successful. This then takes me back to the idea of winning a lot of money.... Not what I want, but it's easier than debt and time spent in a lecture theatre right? Wrong I don't want it that easy, but I don't want it that hard! We humans are so hard to please, nothing will ever be good enough, because we always find something to moan about, which is why everything in life becomes about 5 times harder than it should be. I think I've come to find that there is no happy medium, just a personal desire to succeed which causes a drive in itself, a place where competition spurs and our inner strength is born. My 'inner strength' tends to have it's peaks and falls, which I guess I can call my weakness. Unless it's something I genuinely have a love for, then my heart doesn't want to stick to it, my head does, but my heart, no. With everything, whether its exercise, work, dieting or writing I tend to be most motivated when it becomes most inconvenient, like at 1am on a Thursday evening...
I may be an 18 year old working student, earning suitable money for my age in an education suitable for my future, yet I just have so much apathy towards my life right now, I'm living on a small island, with no hustle and bustle no drive or competition, surrounded by people wanting nothing but a family or pretty little house by the beach. Problem is I set myself up with high expectations and dreams that seem unrealistic and unreachable on this teanie little rock of earth. This certainly isn't the isle of dreams, well not for me anyway. London I suppose is where my love for life is. Being in a big city, surrounded by so much culture, so many different faces; being mugged by someone you aren't related to. Thats the problem with this Island, everywhere you go you are bound to bump into a familiar face, sure at times this is comforting and nice, but repetitiveness and seeing the same old faces day in day out it gets kind of dull. - i suppose I'm just moaning to moan, as I said we always find then worst in everything, i guess in this sense I'm no different.     

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